This is the title I have given a battle I've found among my daydreams.
Surfaced a few months ago, it has recently developed and visited my thoughts more frequently.
Part of me wants to settle down in a remote house, hidden among glorious mountains and trees, completely content with my sweet and manly husband (whom, by the way, I have not met yet). I would enjoy being totally consumed with providing a strong and gentle enviornment for our children - a gorgeous and comfortable home, abundant with yummy nourishments and sweets, smothered in welcoming and nostalgic smells gracing every room. As much as possible, we would live at a leisurely pace...soccer games here and maybe ballet performances there. Life is about us, comfort, fun, and a quality homestlye education. Enjoying each other and a life of relative ease...
...This is what I call Oregon.
Washington, D.C., on the other hand...
...is a full and ambitious life dedicated to making a difference in the world. Less sleep, less baking...more reading, more studying. I would enjoy being driven to take action, to make the most of every day as it pertains to impacting/improving the world on the largest scale possible. Long and longer hours at work, continual mind-stretching and idea-shattering, difficult conversation and decision after difficult conversation and decision. Potential scrutiny and persecution from family, friends, the public, and media perhaps. This life would be filled with a different kind of joy. The kind that is accompanied by aching muscles, tired eyes and a satisfying sense of accomplishment.
Which life shall I choose in the end? I believe I'm created for, and prefer, the latter.
I do.
(Well, at least most of the time. Oh, Jesus, help my unbelief please.)
Hmmm, here's a thought. Maybe Oregon versus Washington is a decision that must be made every day. If that is the case, these days I'm moving more towards Joe Bellinger (figuratively speaking).
Oh, WOW. I wrote you a book!! :) okay, here it comes....
ReplyDeleteHaha. Hey, Joe B and I are buds! Want me to uh...want talk to him for you?? ;) ;)
Hmm. I've felt pulled in almost the exact same way, Janell, especially to D.C.. I identify with you on so many of these points, but let me just say this:
I disagree with you that you can't have the significance you want with the DC life but in Oregon (or something like Oregon). I used to think that way too.
I've studied social change. I want it like you. And I would challenge you with this: *Disciples* change the world, Janell. Disciples. I love democracy and I am so blown away by our system of government. But at the end of the day its just rules. All Washington can really affect are laws and rules.
Being in mgmt has taught me this: "Great people can overcome average systems, but average people won’t live up to great systems." What changes the world are *people*. What change depends on is people. It comes down to people, and what they're made of. Teen Mania had a lot of great rules and systems, but what the culture was made of came down, not to the rules, but to the quality of the people; each person put together.
Low level leadership makes the most impact on people. (You saw this with your team as a mgr.) More than any teaching, sermon, song, or conference, YOU made the difference to them. That 1 on 1, mentoring and modeling dynamic influenced them more than anything else. And who has the most intensive 1 on 1, low level leadership/mentoring role available?? Answer: Mommies and daddies. We can work for all that change in govt policy, rules and regulations, and have it undone by the next guy in less than eight years (see Obama to GWB/Conservative policies first 100 days). Its great mommies and daddies gave us the Corrie Ten Boons, the James Dobsons, the John Pipers and others who introduced profound and lasting social change for our nation.
That's what I plan to do. I plan to take that DC heart into my kids and in a place like Oregon (family life), love them with real love, care for them with real care, teach them to watch out for the widow and the orphan, to stand in the way of the oppressed, to live compassionately, to think globally, and to be jealous for God's fame; to grow disciples. I can't think of a more lasting way to effect social & cultural change. And it fits my heart.
I think that's the best strategy we have. I think it's God's. And it sounds like you already have that working in you. I say you don't have to choose. You were made for both. :)
Hey James, thanks for sharing all that! I agree with you that it is people (disciples) that change the world, absolutely. And that government is not the answer. Amen! :) Is it just me, or is your comment longer than my post? Haha... I really like what you said about Corrie Ten Booms, James Dobsons, John Pipers - so true!
ReplyDeleteI need to work on clarity in my writing, because it seems I was misunderstood here quite a bit :). "Oregon" is not simply a life as a mom, with focus on my family. I definitely want a family someday, and want to enjoy life - and agree with you that this is possible in "Washington." What I was talking about here, though, is a life that is completely consumed in comfort and materialism and a leisurely pace - without much effort, discipline or purpose beyond me and mine. In that way, I will have to chose. To be apart of the "something bigger" that is going on :)
And, I didn't exactly say this up there, but "Washington D.C." is figurative too. I'm not sure yet if my efforts will be focused on politics, or law, or education, or missions, or writing, etc. It just seemed like the most appropriate location to describe that motivated and ambitious lifestyle :)